Trains by The Kids Start at Blacktown

Mustapha: Now you’re sitting down inside the train, settling into your seat. Maybe it’s one of those old trains with the vinyl seats that bounce. Go on, have a little bounce. [very slight pause] Or maybe it’s one of the newer ones with the yellow and blue carpeted seats. [slight pause]. Hi, I’m Mustapha. And I am Lebanese. I am Flash. I am Kobe. I am a Penrith fan. I am President. I am sweet as sugar. I am cold like snow. People call me the Rock, I am taller than 1 million trees. Menaal: I’m Menaal. I am from Pakistan. I am just like a potato. I am crazy, funny, lazy. I am annoying. I am cold as a fan. I am creative but I mess things up. I am very mature and considered when I’m hungry. I am a peace silence person. I am not allergic to anything but I am allergic to some people. Abdulrahman: Hi, I’m Abdulrahman. Jackie: And I’m Jackie. Mustapha: And we’ll be your tour guides. So just sit back, relax, turn on, tune in, and drop out to the lo-fi orchestral sounds of Phil Downing and the Philtones, your Trains by the Kids house band, live, all train-ride long with songs from their latest EP, Philharmonic. [short burst of not-very-good, poorly-played lo-fi orchestral music] Menaal: Alright, alright, let’s get down to business. Work on it, Phil. Part One: I can see Abdulrahman: I can see trees outside and they look light greenish, mostly brownish. I can see cars that are green and grey. I can see houses that are brownish. I can see the sky, which is grey. In fact, everything’s greenish and brownish and greyish. It all goes by so fast that it’s mostly just… ‘-ish’. I got marks under my legs from the seat. The trains seats are very scratchy. I can see an old man with earphones. I can see a lady with headphones. I can see a man ON his phone. I can see a man looking out the window. I can see a man minding his own business. I can see a man wearing a cowboy hat. Mustapha: I see a different world. I see an army of ants marching towards me. I see people. I see sheep. I see a mineshaft full of zombies. I hear growling. I hear pickaxes. I hear people talking and bees. I feel like a stray person. I smell KFC leftovers. Abdulrahman: I can see a lady wearing headphones, I can see a woman on her Nintendo switch, I can see a man that looks like a wrestler. I can see a man on a laptop. I can see a man that looks like a soccer player, I can see a man who looks sad with headphones, a black top, green shorts, and a little bit of hair. He’s from Lebanon and he has a mostly happy life with two kids and a wife. The kids are both boys and he is rich. His favourite food is butter chicken. His favourite music genre is cyberpunk. Let’s have it, Phil. [dystopian cyberpunk music]

Mustapha: Part Two, From Blacktown to Strathfield: A catalogue in C Sharp Minor. [jazzy track in C# Minor plays under the following text] Mustapha: Cars. Street. Sky. Powerline. Trees. Train. Train track, houses, playground, dirt, bushes, grass, 1000 windows, flower, graffiti, people, benches, signs, emergency exits, Parramatta. [slight pause] Bins. Vending machines. Traffic lights. Flags. Rocks. Sun. Balconies, rivers, wood, factories, restaurants, El Jannah, Granville. [slight pause] Pools. Trucks. Clyde. [slight pause] Abandoned trains, pipes, cones, bridge, Auburn kebab house, Auburn. [slight pause] Mosque, construction site, NRL stadium, poles, bags, ambulance, parking lot, Lidcombe. [slight pause] Subway, bike, bus stops, stairs, JB Hi-Fi commercial, colour orange, hair, church, end of school zone, Urkaine flag, clouds, Perm Perm Hair, sandbags, graveyard, soil, empty energy drink, zipper, gas tanks, stop sign, hat pencil, colour blue, water tanks, Sydney markets, never-ending train, Homebush. [slight pause]